4/2012 Due to the nature of adoption in Uganda (and, frankly, the occasional
craziness of the Ugandan adoptive community), I chose not to blog about many
details about our adoption while we were still in process. But because
this blog is the story of our lives... I want to go back and fill in
those empty spaces.
To see all of my adventures in Uganda (or at least the ones
I've posted so far), click on the "Ugandan Adventures" tag at the bottom
of this post.
Here's a message I posted to my secret/private facebook group describing the first of what would be many harder days during our time in Uganda.
*****
Saturday November 5, 2011
MORNING...
We
had a very interesting morning… On Saturdays, they don’t have “class”,
so we played with kiddoes all morning, which was fun. I bought some
plastic kazoos on clearance @ Michael’s, so gave those out this morning, it was funny to see even the little babies buzzing away on them.
At lunch, the babies’ bottles were all way too hot to drink…but like
all babies, as soon as they saw them, they started wailing for them. It
was a ZOO. (It feels crazy to me with one little baby crying for a
bottle, imagine that times 15 or 20!)
M wouldn’t kiss or hug us
goodbye at nap time (he hugged Luke, but not Matt or I)….he pushed us
away. This is normal behavior, and I was expecting it (it actually means
that he’s beginning to attach, and we’ll probably deal with a lot of
this until he feels safe and secure with us.) But still sad…
And then… We attended the funeral of a baby. It’s not a baby any of us
knew… He came in just before we got here, but was so sick he never even
spent the night at the baby home, he went straight to the hospital. One
of the mamas spent most of the time there with him, so she’s really
sad…and the rest of them have been praying for him every day in the
morning devotions they do as a staff. They think he was 12
months old, but only weighed 4kg…and had some broken bones, so was
probably mistreated. He was malnourished and feverish, and 2 days ago
got a stomach bug that dehydrated him to the point that they couldn’t
save him. So sad…and this is what the staff here deal with (and fight
against!) every day. They had a short memorial service for him after we
put the kids to bed for nap.
I feel like the Lord is really
shielding our hearts. It’s also amazing to see how much this is reality…it’s still sad for those who live here, but not nearly as shocking as it is to
Western eyes/ears. I feel a little ashamed to be living in the comfort
and ease that we have when so much of the world is so hard, but not sure
what to do with that. But we are thankful to know the God who is
“making all the sad things come untrue”, and to be a small part of His
redemptive plan. He is GOOD.
*****
THAT EVENING...
Well
you already knew we had kind of a harder morning, with the funeral and
all… And this afternoon, I really hit a wall. I am
ready to be done with orphanage life. When I was here before, it was
really overwhelming at first, but then I got used to trusting the Lord
with all of these things, and was just grateful to be here.
This trip I have felt grateful from the beginning,
and not overwhelmed at all. Until this afternoon. I didn’t sleep well
last night, so after writing what I wrote above, I took a little nap,
and then we planned to go out to see the tombs.
But as we were
waiting, one of the mamas came to get me because someone was here to see
me. It was one of the people involved in Marvin’s case, who showed up
wanting to see us. It was fine, and I was able to find someone to
translate, but it made me nervous and it was just generally stressful
(mostly because it took me by surprise, and M was wierded out
by it).
So after I calmed down from that, I sat out with the
kids and one of my favorite Mamas (Mama Betty again, who has loved on M
since he was a little baby…she’s really attached to him and I can tell
sad to see him go, although she’s been really sweet to me.)
We
fed a few kids a peanut butter/nutritional supplement …which caused a riot among all the other kids. They shared, but
it basically meant I spent the afternoon with screaming, peanut butter
smeared, pee covered kids climbing all over me. Oh, and they were
playing in the sand, so add a thick layer of dirty SAND on top. I felt
like I’ve never felt grosser…and then when my friend Janet & I were
giving bottles (to crawlers, not infants…they sit in this long high
chair, and you feed two bottles at once)… one of them projectile
vomited.
And now I have sand in my mouth and hair, I’m sticky and coated in pee. And I smell like vomit. Gag.
So…maybe you want to pray for my heart? And just that I would hear the
Lord’s voice in all of this?
You can pray for Luke too…he’s still doing
pretty well, but I can tell it’s wearing him down too. He really wants
everyone to take turns and share…especially if Marvin is the one waiting
for a turn or wanting to be shared with. But that’s just not the way it
works here, and it’s useless to get frustrated when the kids are
misbehaving – not that we just let them do whatever, but these kids are
hurting and they’re not always going to play fair (and sometimes they
hit, kick or bite you.) I’ve had to talk to Luke several times today
about being gentle when he corrects, and serving and helping all of the
kids, not just M.
I’ve taught my kids that
thankfulness is the medicine for a grouchy heart (when they complain, I
make them give me 5 things they’re thankful for – I started doing this
when Luke was 6, maybe? He doesn’t really love it :D). I definitely have
a grouchy heart right now…
So I am thankful for:
…Matt & Luke being here with me for 10 days, and especially for TODAY.
… Sweet hugs and cuddles from M tonight at bedtime.
…that the end is hopefully in sight. The Lord is WITH US, He has not
abandoned me, and He’s not going to. And no matter what happens, I am
bathed in His goodness!
…the sweet mamas who do this every day, all the time, for not much pay
…Joel (the guesthouse manager, and cook) made pancakes tonight. They
are like crepes, and cinnamon-y, and we heat them up, spread nutella on
them and eat them for dessert. YUMMY. Tomorrow I’ll have another one for
breakfast, with bananas AND nutella. I know better than to find comfort
and happiness in food, but I'm not going to lie: Those pancakes were
like a gift from the Lord tonight, and they made me happy.
…A hot shower and a good cry.
…instant coffee
…a mosquito net to sleep under
…a comfortable bed to sleep in, and decent food to eat
…internet where I am staying, rather than having to walk 10 minutes for it.
…Coca-cola light
…all of you at home praying for us
…the hope of a good night’s sleep
…we’ve talked to Tobin a couple of times, and he is doing GREAT.
Thankful for a Grammie who’s willing to be a stand-in-mama for so long!
…the presence of the Lord
I do think thankfulness is like medicine… I feel better already!
Love you all!
